Welcome to The Purpose Memo, a newsletter where I give you ideas for wrestling your life back from digital technology and living a principled life. 

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Read time: 9 minutes

“Books hold most of the secrets of the world, most of the thoughts that men and women have had. And when you are reading a book, you and the author are alone together—just the two of you. A library is a good place to go when you feel unhappy, for there, in a book, you may find encouragement and comfort. A library is a good place to go when you feel bewildered or undecided, for there, in a book, you may have your question answered. Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people—people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.”

E.B. White

Books That Convinced Me to Put My Phone Down and Get Off Social Media

Most of the great movements of progress in my life have started with a book.

I’ve always loved books for that reason. Books are just short enough to make one compelling argument and just long enough to convince you to change your mind.

When you read a book, you spend 6-10 hours with the author. If I put you in a room with an expert on any topic for that amount of time, they would almost assuredly win you over in some capacity.

Today, I want to share some authors that have won me over to their way of thinking.

I’ve included five books that both shaped my behavior and my thinking on the topic of digital discipline.

Of course, there are others. (I’d love for you to share your favorites with me).

But these are my top five, in no particular order. And no, I don’t get paid if you buy any of them with the links provided.

Although that would be nice. I’ll look into it.

The Life We’re Looking For by Andy Crouch

Published 2022

I said in no particular order… with one exception. This is number one.

The Life We’re Looking For is one of all-time favorite books. It laid the foundation for how I think about humanity’s relationship to technology. Crouch is both a brilliant and a compassionate mind—every sentence seems perfectly placed.

An excerpt:

So, rather than actually creating machines that understand the infinitely creative and complex world of human culture, we will find that it is far easier to create attenuated cultural environments that treat persons like machines.”

Find it here.

Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier

Copyright 2018

This is a book I found while browsing a book store, which is always a risk since it doesn’t come recommended by a trusted source.

Lanier is quirky. He has no problem inserting his political takes, to be sure. But I like some of his arguments.

He makes on specific point that has stuck with me since reading the book: if we want better versions of social media than what we have right now (assuming that’s even possible), the only way we’ll get it is by demanding it. And the best way to demand it, of course, is with your behavior.

Network effects make it near impossible to envision a platform like Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok ever going away, but if somehow enough people would force the hand of the market by deleting their accounts, perhaps newer, better options would emerge.

An excerpt:

“I just stopped using the stuff because I didn’t like who I was becoming. You know the adage that you should choose a partner on the basis of who you become when you’re around the person? That’s a good way to choose technologies, too.”

Find it here.

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

Copyright 2019

This is my most often quoted resource. If you read Cal Newport and Andy Crouch, you’ll know a good 90% of my thoughts on digital technology.

One of the memorable ideas from this book is how most people can probably accomplish what they say they “need” social media for in about 20 minutes a week. We could radically reduce the amount of time we spend on these platforms and still see everything that would be beneficial for us to see.

An excerpt:

“Finally, it’s worth noting that refusing to use social media icons and comments to interact means that some people will inevitably fall out of your social orbit—in particular, those whose relationship with you exists only over social media. Here’s my tough love reassurance: let them go. The idea that it’s valuable to maintain vast numbers of weak-tie social connections is largely an invention of the past decade or so—the detritus of overexuberant network scientists spilling inappropriately into the social sphere.”

Find it here.

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Copyright 2019

In retrospect, this was the very first book that had me reconsidering my tech habits. Much to Comer’s chagrin, I’m sure, I hurried through this book when I read it for the first time back in 2020. I think I read the whole book in a day.

For the first time, I was presented with an alternative way of living than the breakneck, anxious, distracted pace of the modern world.

I also love that this entire book is based on one sentence from Dallas Willard.

Side note: A perk of reading Comer is that he is very well read. Most of his arguments are supported with a word from someone else, and for a quote lover like myself, that’s huge positive. The highlighter gets a lot of use.

An excerpt:

“On a regular basis I catch myself saying, ‘I wish there were ten more hours in a day.’ Even as a I mouth it, I realize my logic is flawed. Think about it: even if God were a Robin Williams-esque genie in a bottle, there to make my every wish come true, and he were to alter the structure of the universe to give me ten more hours in a day, what would I likely do with those ten hours? The same thing most people would do, fill them up with even more things, and then I would be even more tired and burned out and emotionally frayed and spiritually at risk than I am now.”

Find it here.

The Tech Exit by Clare Morrell

Copyright 2025

This book includes both sobering stories on how technology is damaging our children and inspiring examples of families who have chosen another way. You get to hear interviews from moms and dads and kids—the ones who grew up in homes without smartphones or social media access.

If you’re a parent, it will change how you think about engaging your kids with tech.

It reminded me to be the person that sets the precedent for phone habits in the household. Children are always watching. When their parents are distracted by notifications or continuously scrolling, they notice.

It’s also the best practical guide I’ve found on how to get involved in the fight to protect kids from these dangers in our schools. She’s a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in D.C., and you can tell. Her work is excellently organized.

An excerpt:

“Mike and Liz found the reality to be the opposite of parents’ fears. Their decision to not allow video games or social media has not deprived their children of friends but rather accelerated the process of ‘friend filtering,’ helping them find their true friends faster. Mike explains, ‘If a ‘friend’ is so shallow that because you are not on the group text or social media chat, then you are dead to them and they won’t reach out separately to make sure you know about the social event, then that’s not a true friend.’”

Further down on the same page:

“Jack, Margaret and Patrick’s grown son, shared that in high school his soccer coach used group texts to update the players on practices and send other announcements. All his teammates knew that his dumbphone had trouble receiving the group messages, so they would text or call him with anything he needed to know. He was never left out of the loop. The team found a way to keep him informed. And he was fine. Talking to me about it, he conveyed no traumatic memories or emotional scarring from this experience. He honestly didn’t seem to care that much.”

Find it here.

On Deck

The next two I hope to get to soon:

Grab a book today and see if it doesn’t change your mind.

It might lead to your next breakthrough.

What else should I be reading? Let me know!

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See you next week.

PW

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