Welcome to The Purpose Memo, a newsletter where I give you ideas for wrestling your life back from digital technology and living a principled life.
If someone forwarded you this email, join them and other readers here.
Read time: 3 minutes
“If you do not change direction, you may end up here you are heading.”
Lao Tzu
Hope for the Overthinker
I would consider myself an overthinker. I think about certain things more than I ought, more than they deserve to be thought about.
Sometimes, it’s helpful. Overthinking comes with an orientation to detail, an eye for quality, and a better understanding of how things work (and why).
But the downsides are sharp: decision paralysis, hesitancy, uncertainty, ambivalence, and spending far too much time in your head.
Judging by the conversations I have with others, I don’t feel like an aberration. The Age of Information is a breeding ground for the biggest boom of overthinkers the world has ever seen.
Like me, most overthinkers suffer from these negative effects without hope for improvement. Aren’t our strongest virtues our biggest vices? You can’t have one without the other, right?
Here’s a secret I’ve learned after thirty years of an over-thought life:
There’s a fine line between reflection and rumination.
Learning how to navigate from the latter to the former makes all the difference.
Reflection vs. Rumination
If your mind was a house, the reflection room and rumination room would share a wall. The walk from one to the other is very short. (Perhaps they are joined by a Jack and Jill bathroom.)
Understanding how to make that walk is important for any overthinker looking to curb the drawbacks of their natural mental disposition.
Reflection - Directed thought toward a problem or circumstance for the purpose of understanding and finding a solution
Rumination - Wandering, negative thought on a problem or circumstance without a clear purpose or willingness to accept a solution
Looking at them side by side, the differences become stark.
Rumination brings anxiety. Reflection brings clarity.
Rumination obsesses over things that can’t change. Reflection focuses on what can change.
Rumination is frenetic and chaotic. Reflection is slow and calm.
Rumination is over-analyzing. Reflection is sober judgement.
Rumination dwells on the bad. Reflection envisions the good.
Rumination can’t stop thinking about what will happen in the future. Reflection considers what can be learned from the past.
Rumination is perpetually pessimistic. Reflection is relentlessly optimistic.
Rumination cripples personal growth. Reflection accelerates it.
One of my favorite quotes is from Walt Kelly:
"Having lost sight of our objectives, we redoubled our efforts.”
If rumination is the kryptonite of the overthinker, reflection is the superpower. Reflection allows you to course correct—to regain sight of the objective.
The world will tell you taking dedicated time for reflection is a waste of time. But in the words of Amos Tversky:
“You waste years by not being able to waste hours.”
If you’re an overthinker, remember to “waste a few hours.” Not on rumination, but on reflection.
Perhaps you—we—will go from overthinkers to thinkers.
A vice becomes a virtue.
See you next week.
PW