Stop Moderating, Start Eliminating

Welcome to The Purpose Memo, a newsletter where I give you ideas for wrestling your life back from digital technology and living a principled life. 

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Read time: 6 minutes

In 2012, two psychologists by the names of Wilhelm Hofmann and Roy Baumeister conducted an important study on desire and willpower.

They asked 205 adults to wear a beeper that would activate at random times throughout the day. Every time the subject heard a beep, they were to pause and think about the desires they had felt in the last 30-minutes, and then proceed to answer a series of questions about them.

Within a week, the group had been collectively beeped over 7,500 times.

Baumeister summarized their findings in one sentence:

“Desire turned out to be the norm, not the exception.”

They found that people are continuously fighting desires.

Interestingly, in addition to primitive impulses like eating, sleeping, and sex, which unsurprisingly found their way into the top five desires reported, that list also included the urge to pause work and check email, browse social media, surf the web, or watch television.

Right next to our desire to avoid starvation, it seems, is our desire to distract ourselves with a screen.

This study supports a principle that I’ve lived by for many years, and it’s the subject of today’s piece.

As a high schooler, I had a reputation for many things. Among them was an oddity: I was a chronic root beer drinker, and I wore that badge unashamedly. Whether it was movie theaters, restaurants, or parties—I was the first person to help myself to an iced glass (or a cold can) of Barq’s.

But one day something changed. I was accused of being addicted to root beer by a family member. I still remember the conversation… and my incredulous response.

“Addicted? Like, chain-smoker addicted? No way!”

Always one needing to prove a point with evidence, I told my assailant (labeled as such b/c harm caused to my ego) that I’d have no problem cutting out root beer for an entire year.

They balked. I doubled down.

And thus my 365-day journey without that sweetest of artificial nectars began.

I didn’t know it at the time, but in my pride, I stumbled upon a principle that would revisit me time and time again in my adult life: The Total Elimination Effect.

The Total Elimination Effect suggests that when dealing with our addictive tendencies, it’s often far easier to completely abstain than to fight for moderation.

In my example above, I succeeded. I made it one full year without having a drop of root beer. What’s more is that I didn’t find it particularly difficult. Looking back, I realized something important:

Totally eliminating the option made success the probable outcome.

If I had set out to cut down my consumption by 50%, I almost certainly would have failed. Every social engagement would have presented me with a difficult decision, causing me to capitulate far too often.

Instead, I convinced myself that there wasn’t a choice; the only viable option was abstinence, not moderation.

Listen to Cal Newport’s reflection on the aforementioned study:

Don’t think of your willpower as a skill than can be conjured and utilized infinitely. Think of it as a finite resource than can be drained and, by consequence, run out.

This depletion means you have far less energy and cognitive capacity to devote toward things that are more important to you. Instead of using your willpower for adopting a new positive habit or creating something meaningful, it’s all being wasted on resisting the endless string of temptations in your environment.

This is where the Total Elimination Effect comes in handy.

Here are some personal examples:

Keep this in mind:

The companies that sell these products are doing everything they can to create a compulsive urge inside of you. If they can drain your willpower, they make more money. These products are engineered to hijack your dopamine system and plant desires that become too difficult to fight over the longhaul.

One intentional “never” is more effective than a million tiny “no’s.”

Ask yourself this today:

What am I trying to moderate right now that I would be better off totally eliminating?

Conserve your willpower.

Use it for things that matter.

Thanks for reading!

See you next week.

PW